Everyone is on Facebook. Everyone is a sinner. Everyone on Facebook is a sinner?
A small chat with a hypothetical,
innocent girl (she is hypothetical because she is innocent):
Innocent girl:
Hey, what are you doing?
Me:
Checking mails, Facebooking…and…
Innocent girl:
(immediately, with raised brows): What do people do on Facebook?
Me: (confidently)
Social networking…
Innocent girl:
And what’s that?
Me: Well,
many things…of great importance…uh…basically…socially…and uh…the…
Innocent girl: Hey,
mom’s calling…will catch you in an hour or so…tell me then, please.
Me: (still
thinking) uh…yeah…Facebook is for… great...hm…
So a simple conversation like this one
with an innocent girl (darn she is no innocent in any other arena of consciousness)
made me think about a sane person’s activity (that I shalt call a SIN now
forth) on Facebook. I prepared a list just for her (you may peep in too).
SIN 1: Being a weather reporter
So this happens mostly if it’s raining.
Most people think rains bring romance and freshness (what about the mud and
stickiness, anyways?). So a good way to update the world (or your friends)
about the recent temperature change is to post about it on FB (this is very important, considering the fact that most people who have an internet access to read your
post do not have a television to check weather reports).
SIN 2: Doing PDA
Urgghh... So initially the posts say
how confused you are about acceptance of your new-found love and, then, how
awesome you feel to be in a relationship (this might be followed by touchy
breakup quotes later). You have no option but to read, like & comment ("awwwww" with infinite times the letter "w")
on the posts that could be a few stupid lines from a romantic song, usually
followed by a love emoticon (matlab “<3”) and, sometimes, intimate pictures
(No offense intended, the penner too wishes to do this
someday).
SIN 3 Posting SMS Jokes
Yikes! You think people are impressed
with husband-wife jokes? (And no! not the sardar ones too (I
have good, intelligent and beautiful Sikh friends and colleagues in my friend
list, and so do you). A word of wisdom is still readable (at least when we
haven’t read it before), but copy-pasting that old SMS is a sin!
SIN 4 Wishing Happy X Day
On certain days, your wall is a little
too crowded with posts similar in content. Facebook is the perfect place to
post "Happy __ Day to all" (please fill in the blank with any day
you have heard of). One of my friends dared to post "happy wedding anniversary
grandma & grandpa" (that too, when her grandfather & grandmother
were not on Facebook). Hmm... punish that sinner now!
SIN 5 Seeking vengeance
Facebook is also an interesting battle
ground. Some of your Facebook friends "unfriend" you and think it is
like shooting a bullet in your head. Some would share
your ugly pictures and tag you. What a revenge
strategy! No, I am serious. Or probably I have given you another perspective to
look at your friend’s next move on Facebook. Whatever it is, but in case it is
done with a bad, vindictive intent, it is a sin.
SIN 6 Faking socialization
If I am messaging the girl I am sitting
next to with via the FB messenger, that’s no networking. Holy Moly! you are posting “Happy Birthday” on your friend's wall
when he is there with you (giving you a treat also) because he forced you to do that (the penner just bumped her head somewhere). And commenting “you are looking nice, how was this place?” on the profile picture of your mommy who lives with you 24X7? Congrats! You are a social sinner. Please post that now on your wall.
SIN 7 Indulging in debauchery
Now if you try to watch pornographic
stuff by clicking on certain video links (that are actually spam), you commit
the worst Facebook sin. Sorry to say but lechery is a sin by
the Holy Bible also, which makes this one even more sombre. And later on
posting that it was the evil-work of some hackers is silly. If the world knows
you are a pervert, repent !
The “penner” of this piece
has herself committed most of the sins she mentioned above. She thinks she is
too smart and intelligent to pinpoint these in others and escape criticism
this way.