Have the Heart of a Hot and Haughty Girl!

Every guy longs for a beautiful girlfriend (or just a girlfriend?)

So if the title makes a little sense, I expect only men to be reading it (But don’t worry if you are a girl, you can always deny you read it).

If I am not wrong, the words “hot” and “haughty” did hopefully evoke the horny side in you. You will distastefully question, why the hell I want to help the mankind (man?). A more important question is who the heck I am? (Though, many will feel the priority of explaining the use of “H”words so many times here).

Despite the confused origin, relevance and target readership of this article, the tips and tricks are cleaner, non-baffling and easy to follow. Let me begin with answering one of the questions you asked above (okay I thought you, being a conscious reader, might have thought that this should be answered).

Blessed with some basic, inherent qualities (like prophetic powers, lunatic vision, impeccable intelligence, philanthropic attitude plus not to forget a seat at a comfy vantage point) the writer of this article thinks she should give some “free-advice” to men (or idiots) who want hot, happening and haughty girls.

Following this you will be successful in getting close to a hot girl (in this life hopefully) besides improving your vocabulary (with some words starting with “H”).

So let me begin:

TIP 1

No matter how much she knows and understands her beauty, if you tell her that she looks beautiful, she will (you get the assurance from the writer) definitely admire and appreciate it. Whether she shows it (by actions like smiling and blushing) or remains unresponsive is not guaranteed. And this counts for every time you say it to her. There’s nothing like “enough” here.

Just say"you look beautiful and gorgeous naturally" (even if she is loaded with make-up) and see the magic. But avoid words like “sexy” and “sensuous” in the very first go as this will pop up questions in her mind regarding your intensions (which might not be so good to know at least at the initial stages). You may, though, tell her about those horny ideas, when you both decide to consummate your relationship (that should work fine there).

TIP 2

All women are anorexic…partially or completely (you may include the writer in the list, of course). So just tell her that she simply doesn’t need to lose weight, while she is struggling hard on diet regimes or workouts. Though she will not stop those hilarious activities, she will love what you said.

But in case losing weight isn’t bad for her, you may still assure her that she looks really nice with that curvaceous body (no real man hates curves on a female’s body; you must be lying if you do- of your orientation or in general).

TIP 3

Tell her that she is different from other girls you have (or haven’t) met. See you will not lie here. Her Genome/ DNA structure (Deoxy-ribose nucleic acid) is very unique, different from any other individual you know, even her twin sister (I am sorry but that’s science, challenge only if you believe in Creationism).

TIP 4

Girls love to hear a word about their intelligence. Why not let her believe that you think she can win “Kaun banega crorepati”? Now you can say that (even if she misfits to win "Paanchvi paas se tez") she is certainly not going to sit on the hot seat (unless you know any one from Star Plus) as that requires a lot of luck (she can’t be that lucky; hopefully she’ll be with you after you read the article!)

TIP 5

Let her know that you never had a girlfriend because you were always preoccupied with your studies or a life sucking job. She knows you are lying, but she will find it cool (Why?).

Now that you know the 5 Golden tips, you know how to take the first step to get your girl. But some minor things like great looks, intelligence, education, family background, gentlemanliness etc. also have their parts (and we understand that most of the readers who are seeking help from a blog article to get their girl are not expected to possess these minor attributes). Why worry about minor things? Hopefully you have all my help here (or at least few unnecessarily used “H” words!)

The “penner” of this piece doesn’t want money, power or fame for all the wonderful tips she just threw at you. But seeking forgiveness from all those who unfortunately read the article is a must.