Friday, September 29, 2017


from a night's conversation,
to eternities, well-nigh.
the love that is yours,
will never pass you by.

Thursday, August 03, 2017


under all circumstances,
over everybody else,
with whole of your heart,
choose me.

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Report Card

We have completed one year of living together. Since we did not know each other for long before we got married, the question of compatibility didn't come up at that time. But now, this analysis is very much possible. In this post, I'm going to check and impartially analyze our compatibility on the basis of 11 extremely carefully (read: randomly) chosen points, each carrying 1 mark.

I am Scorpio, he is Leo. As they say, our partnership in astrology is like the combination of fire and water, leading to either extinguishing of the fire or evaporation of water, or both. I mildly follow astrology and he disbelieves it to the point of ridiculing it. Two weeks before our wedding date, my mom got the idea of checking our horoscopes with an astrologer. And the results were pretty disappointing. As per astrology, we are a bad, bad match. Scary, right? Rather than giving up on him, I decided to give up on my faith in astrology. Anyway, we get a 0 here.

Both of us are emotional, touchy and sensitive. I love talking, he is a good listener. I am very short tempered, but I also cool down easily. He takes things lightly most of the times, but once triggered, he becomes overly stubborn and fixed, and difficult to handle. I overthink things, he keeps his head clear of extra information. In one year of marriage, we have locked horns a lot of times, mostly on petty things. But since both of us value harmony in life, we have also been open to solve our issues. I become poetic and sentimental during the arguments, while he keeps things logical and rational. Some of our fights are seriously funny. I’d give us 0.5 in the personality match.

He is quite extravagant with food, clothing and pretty much everything he likes (bought a DSLR because I like getting clicked). I am, on the other hand, very parsimonious (except for occasional outbursts on online shops). I think this keeps things balanced. A full score of 1 to us on this one.

Trust and Loyalty
Loyalty is important to both of us. However, I will have to admit I am an innately suspicious and curious person. I don’t trust that easily, and sometimes that bothers him a lot. He is quick to trust, very vulnerable at times. He does not exactly seem to have a roving eye, but he does admire beauty, more than I can handle sometimes. If I wear short dresses, he does not object but kind of gets upset. That being said, we do trust each other more than we used to. I’d give 0.75 to us in this one.

Food and Fitness
We are both moderately health conscious. And we keep motivating each other to stay fit. He is a food lover through and through, and I have a bad habit of counting calories before eating. He loves non-vegetarian food (he ATE rabbit and duck meat too, oh no!), and I am strictly vegetarian (tried to eat eggs under his influence, but couldn’t do so for long). Some challenges are inevitable when we dine out, but the good thing is we let each other be in this area. For no complaints and force conversions from either side, I’d give us 1 in this area.

I am an idealist, a hopeless romantic. I had always dreamed of love worthy of Gods. The truth is he IS also romantic. Just that he hides it (says something extremely sentimental and then laughs it off immediately). I am okay with him hiding it. It gives me a chance to read his mind.

Social Media
I love to have an online presence. I also enjoy social media networking, which is why I am on almost every social media portal- Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter- you name it! He is just the opposite- hates Facebook and Instagram, follows selected writers and football dudes on twitter (never tweets), is on LinkedIn for namesake. He likes to keep his life private. I feel guilty of being overly glitzy in comparison to him at times. He does not mind me enjoying social media (makes fun of me though). And I like the fact that he stays away from all the flashiness and showiness on social media. In fact, I secretly respect him for that. Maybe we get a 0.75 here.

Not saying that we are very intellectual, but our intellectual levels decently match. Our conversations are rarely dumb and non-sense. In fact, at times the arguments get unreasonably reasonable. We should get a 1 here.

Both of us love travelling. In our free time, we often discuss the places we can visit and plan trips. We have travelled quite a lot in the past one year. It would be good to give us a 1 in this one.

Taste in Art
We have quite a different taste in music, but we don’t find each other’s taste bad. He is a movie buff (has watched almost every Hollywood movie you can think of), I not so much. He only watches quality cinema (checks IMDb and rotten tomatoes ratings, film critique reviews, etc.), I am okay with watching bad movies that star my favorite actors. The common preferred genera are sci-fi, horror and comedy. But I prefer romantic and drama over VFX superhero stuff, and he is just the opposite. 0.75 in this one.

Domestic Chores
Here’s one guy who helps his wife in the kitchen, does dishes when the house help takes off, washes clothes on weekends and brings grocery on the way back home, at times at a short notice. Perfect 1 to us, because of him.

Disclaimer: This marriage compatibility report card was strictly written from my perspective. He didn’t agree with some parts. Then again, we have never really got full agreement on anything yet.

P.S. The penner is too tired of calculating the final score. If you have managed to read it till here, why don’t you do it for her? Please? Okay, Bye.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

her smile

here's a photo of this girl, 
so lost in life, 
she forgetfully hides her smile. 
and so on rare days like these, 
her laughter, 
in revenge,
hides her button eyes.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

that one moment

that one day,
i felt from within,
for a brief moment,
he was all mine,
you see, in the end,
it is what truly matters,
for it is all we'd ever have.

Monday, April 17, 2017

Indeed, More Indian Than You Think!

India is many things. And amongst those, it is a land of rich spices and condiments. Different parts of India experience diametrically different climatic conditions, providing the perfect environment for the production of many native species of spices along with many cultivars throughout the year. A beautiful consequence of that is one can find varied kinds of cuisines in different corners of the country. Indian food is matchless in taste, colour and aroma. If it is made in the right way, it is also very, very healthy. Which is why, perhaps, one can clearly see world wide recognition and global impact of our food tradition in the latest Lufthansa TV ad on Youtube.

Lufthansa’s TVC rightly gives a hint that one of the most incredibly Indian things about India is the Indian food. Apart from the technique, I believe, much of it is because of the unique Indian spices used during the gravy preparation. The states such as Andhra Pradesh, Gujrat, Madhya Pradesh, Orissa, etc. are major spice producing states in India. But the fact that the Indian soil can grow a vast amount of amazing spices is not the only reason India is special.

The Indian tradition of knowing the distinctive properties, taste, benefits and medicinal value of herbs and spices dates back to thousands of years. Much of scientific research in economical botany across the globe takes heavily from the tribal knowledge of aboriginal plant species in many parts of India. People in villages and remote parts of India deeply understand the value of plants. In fact, plant species like Tulsi (Ocimum tenuiflorum), Peepal or Sacred fig (Ficus religiosa), etc. are treated with reverence and are considered holy by some Indian communities, which is, perhaps, their way of understanding their importance.

Unknowingly and beautifully, this tremendous ancient cultural knowledge about the benefits of various plant species is being passed on from one generation to another, many a times, orally, and at other times, in the form of informal texts. I often feel, the West is probably unaware of or too skeptical of this knowledge. But this has helped Indians time and again in the most unexpected ways.

To share one such incident, last to last year, I, along with my colleagues, went to Dharchula district, a remote hilly area located on the India-Nepal border, to collect linguistic data on an endangered language. We were sitting by the bank of the river Kali when I realized there were 4-5 leeches on my feet sucking my blood. To anyone who has had this experience, if you try to manually remove them, their mouth organs stay inside the skin, causing serious infection later on. There was no medical facility nearby. The solution was simple. I went to a small dhaba next to us and got some salt from there. Putting salt on leeches makes them leave your body instantaneously and painlessly. After that, I applied turmeric on the area to prevent bleeding and to disinfect it. I can imagine anyone else would have had several mini attacks during such an occasion. But, as Indians, it comes so naturally to us to use spices and herbs to our benefit anytime, anywhere.

While there are post-colonialists out there crying on the issues of westernization of India and Anglicization of Indian food and languages, I feel, everything about India is still #MoreIndianThanYouThink and Indians have #MoreIndian-nessThanWeCanImagine.

Friday, April 07, 2017


i heard words,
that warmed my heart, 
and words,
that tore it apart.

Monday, April 03, 2017

all about self-belief

"and before i try to convince you, i have to convince myself i am not this bad."

a morning that brought back something unwanted

"what happened to me? when did i become them? something's not right. it hurts to inflict hurt."

Sunday, March 12, 2017

that heart

that heart was warm, colossal;
also unimaginably crowded,
there was shelter
but no corner of my own.
there was air
none i could breath in.
had i not left it myself,
i would've been pushed out
one day, anyway.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017


I had always lived quite a protected, sheltered life. But there came a point when that shelter could not protect me from sinking into back to back disappointments that came in from different areas of my life, and I was forced to take charge of my destiny and, more importantly, my happiness. As someone pointed out, I was looking for my Queen moment. I wanted to believe it was me standing against the world and to save myself it was inescapable defeating everything that put me down. Starting second half of the last year, my semantically-empty, meshed life began to unravel and change.

From travelling alone to United States, colouring my hair crimson red, firing real bullets, skydiving, kayaking, scuba diving, to getting a permanent tattoo- I think I dipped my toes into quite a lot of amazing, adventurous activities in a short period of time. Of which chasing and charming a handsome, geeky software engineer dude and deciding to get married to him within 20 days was breathtakingly brave. After all of this, honestly, I feel good. Also, because I have been a chicken all my life. An emotionally weak, confused chicken so to speak.

Maybe there still is a quest to find ecstasy and freedom. Or maybe it’s more like fighting my inner fears and demons. Some of my friends thought this transition was weirdly cool and that I looked tougher. And although I’d love to believe that, the truth is for the most part, I was so scared I did not enjoy things around, let alone feeling strong. 

I was nauseating really bad after my first skydive and even got feverish for two days. I drank litres of dirty sea water while learning to scuba dive and could not eat for hours. My already super-sensitive skin got severely burnt, tanned and scaly, leaving me with bi-coloured hands and legs. While kayaking, the tides became so violent at one point that our kayak got imbalanced and I got like thousands of mini heart attacks at a time. After the hair colouring thing, I had a tough time bearing criticism that came from almost everywhere. I was shivering and sweating when the tattoo artist punctured my skin. BUT, I am glad I tried and survived all of it.

My mom now thinks I am 'un-ladylike'. My brother feels I am kind of too impulsive and adventurous. My dad thinks I am not very obedient like my siblings. My husband thinks I am exciting (and dangerous). They’re all quite right. I do am all of these things. But besides that, and, more straightforwardly, I am un-understandably crazy.