"Oh! please. Love? It's there in the books to read. My ears will bleed if you continue this non-sense for one more minute".
"I read your blog. And your poetry. I never knew you would be so insensitive, practical and cold-hearted in real life".
I was at a strange phase of my life. My expectations from a romantic partnership were growing fast, and there were hardly any traces of fulfilment. I realised I had started to need more than just liking,
more than just flirty texts, more than just chasing, more than just romance, and, perhaps, more than just love. I needed codependency, clinginess,
madness, insecurities, inseparability, togetherness, foreverness. I
needed to become irreplaceable, indispensable in someone's life. I needed to be
needed.
“Life has seasons. And just like winter, summer will get here in time too, you know.”“Hmm? Did you say something?”
“Uh hun. I was only looking through the window”.
And, then, one day, I met him. In the most hopeless, dull settings
ever. He seemed to me like those simple, observant types. Deep eyes. Powerful demeanour. Intelligent mind. Loving smile. In many ways, he was near
perfect. Despite my strong interest in him, he saw a cold, iced version of my
heart. I was cheerful, but not warm.
“what can I do for you, miss?”, he asked strongly, without saying a word.“if you could invest in fantasy-fuelled, rose-colored glasses for us; may be, and create those ‘life's beautiful' vibes in my life?” my eyes requested.
I was not mad, not dreamy. Somewhere inside, I was deeply wishing
for something meaningful and perpetual. I was failing to settle for the ordinary, temporary
and transient. While everyone thought what I wanted was hard to understand and
that my expectations were unreasonable, I think, he got me.
“Here, look in my eyes”, he said. “Would you believe me if I make a promise to you? I want you to know now that I want to be with you.”
I have no idea why he liked me, why falling for him was so effortless, why getting him was so easy. I was just like other girls he would
meet everyday and not talk to. I was ordinary.
I took a deep breath, gathered all the courage in the world and asked him, "what kind of a woman do you want?"He looked dreamily at the sky and then in my eyes, and said, “someone like you, exactly like you”.
If I lived my life the way I did just so I could get him like this
one day, I feel I don’t want to change anything about it. I longed for gold and
for silver, not knowing He had chosen a gem for me.
“There will always be challenges before us”, he said with a smile. “If you and I are together, we can fight anything. Now look in my eyes and tell me, you are with me”.
“I am with you”, I instantly promised, “for this life and whatever comes next.”
Sometimes it takes years for people to figure out if they are or are not meant to be. If what they feel for someone is love or not. And sometimes, it is a matter of hours and seconds. I believe in love. I believe in magic. In miracles. I believe in many things that do not have any clear, objective explanation.
